Changing seasons

Today definitely felt like winter outside. It was bone chilling and rainy, with even a few small flakes of snow. While walking outside to purchase a roasted chicken for our lunch, I was reminded of my children's stated desire to live where it is warm all year around.

My son said that he was sad today because his grandfather (my father) was leaving tomorrow for the U.S. I had asked for him to come over to meet his newest grandchild and help us adjust to life with 4 kids. The situation drastically changed with Jessica's death. He arrived the Wednesday after Jessica's death and has been with us for nearly 3 weeks. In an e-mail, my friend from high school Kathy reminded me how fortunate we have been to have all 3 living grandparents come and spend time with us recently. He was a pastor for many decades and it has been good to have his pastoral influence around us. I'm sure he's had to hold his tongue a few times over some differences that we may have. But he's been gracious to have around.

Tomorrow we get back to just being 5 again. Since leaving for graduate studies in Illinois in August 1986, I have never lived long-term under my parents' roof (or even in the same state, let alone country now). It has been nice to have my father around. Physically, he can't do as much to help as he did before. But it's nice to have his influence around, particularly for my kids to be around it.

As with each trip, I wonder if it will be his last one here. My mother's last trip was nearly 2 years ago now. She's been in heaven for over a year now and it's comforting to think of Jessica being with her.

He's done some bedtime reading to the kids the last couple of weeks. Tonight my youngest (nearly 3) was jabbering with him. It was humorous to watch the generations mixing.

While in grad school in 1986, we had an integrative seminar on "separation anxiety." This is a phenomen that affects especially children of expatriates like ourselves who live in different countries than their native one and who have to switch back and forth between cultures. It is sometimes said that these children are most comfortable on an airplane between countries.

Added to this is the recent loss of their baby sister.

Certainly all children (and their parents) face challenges in growing up. Our 3 kids are all different and handle (and will handle) differently their being bi-cultural and now bereaved of a sibling.

I had a meeting with our son's teacher on Friday. It had been scheduled for later September, but she had a knee injury and was replaced for a couple of months while on convalescence. I filled her in on the family situation and she let me know more about how she perceives him to be doing. He seems to have the hardest time with his French, although he is making progress.