Greater faith

Yesterday we watched the DVD "Prince Caspian" as a family. We used some Christmas present gift money to purchase it, as we all enjoyed "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe."

Lucy, the youngest of the 4 children in the stories, is an example of the childlike faith that God enjoys seeing. In the 2nd story, while her oldest brother Peter is trying to fight the Telmarines with human wisdom, strength, and strategy, Lucy is looking for Aslan the Lion. She seeks him and sees him when her siblings don't.

One song that we sang on Sunday had a line about "God saving us from our projects" (translation from French). Certainly, Proverbs talks about the wisdom of having godly counsel and planning. But it also talks about how God intervenes in our plans, as well as to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not leaning on our own understanding.

I certainly need a renewal of a childlike faith in 2009. There sometimes feels like a tension between the busyness of life with 3 young children in a busy city with finding time to seek after God. It sometimes seems like it would be easier to do for a single person in a monastery in the countryside. But it must be possible to do in any situation, if one is able to carve out the time and space in the midst of the noise and activity. We'll see how this plays out in 2009.

We enjoyed having 5 children (from 4 families) and 4 mothers at our 2nd Christmas cookie bake contact event 2 days ago. It was good to have this connect time with these families. We have 5 kids who have confirmed their presence for this Friday for the final cookie bake.

Under the shadow of the Almighty

When completing my previous blog entry, I realized that I was looking ahead to 2009 with some fear and trepidation. This felt strange to me, as I generally have an optimistic perspective. But with Jessica's death still feeling close to our family, I felt more reserved going in 2009 than I've felt going into previous years. Part of it was a question of trust. In theory, I know that God can be trusted. But in practice, it's still easy to keep my little closets that still feel like they are mine. It's like a kid holding onto to something tightly grasped in his hand.

To my surprise, God spoke to this issue during a sermon yesterday. We visited our friends Mark and Denise's church in Paris. We had Thanksgiving with them and they have especially reached out to us since Jessica's passing. They also have 7 kids older than ours, so we all, including our kids, enjoy being with them. Our helper Deanna is around the age of their 2 youngest kids, so we wanted to take her there, as she'll go to a New Year's Eve bash that they have at the church.

The guest preacher was a layman in their church named Guy. He preached on the life of David. It was more of a narrative sermon, with some good applications weaved in. He wasn't at all flashy or professorial, but he knew the text and presented it in a simple, yet profound way.

Toward the end of his sermon, he somehow cited in passing Psalm 91. I've been familiar with this, particularly the "shadow of the almighty" picture since my high school days. One of my required readings by my mother was the book "Shadow of the Almighty." This was the journal of Jim Elliott, a missionary to Ecuador who was martyred by the Auca Indians around 1949 or 1950 at age 26. Next to the Bible, this book has probably influenced me more than any other book. It had something to do with my call into missions, as well as my decision to study at Wheaton Grad School.

2009 appears to have lots of turbulence ahead in terms of world economics and job security for many people. Besides this, we have some changes going on in our lives and ministries in Paris. Some things just aren't clear at this point in time.

The promises of Psalm 91 were refreshing to my soul in a new way yesterday. I think that this psalm will be my life text for 2009. Certainly, these promises don't mean that there won't be any problems. But they remind me of the One who ultimately protects and guides.

Psalm 91 (New King James Version)

Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler^[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Footnotes:

1. Psalm 91:3 That is, one who catches birds in a trap or snare

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Stuck in the elevator & reflections in 2008

This morning I got in the elevator outside our apartment to walk Chester, the dog we're watching for 2 weeks. Before leaving the apartment, I nearly took my cell phone. But I thought that it would be unnecessary to do this, as I planned just to go outside for a couple of minutes to let Chester relieve himself. However, once the elevator door closed, it didn't move. After a few seconds, I realized that I was stuck in the elevator.

This is the 3rd time that I've been stuck in an elevator in 15 years in France. The first two times, I was with claustrophobic people who hyperventilated. It was also in the summer, so it was warm. This time, it was a lot calmer & cooler in the elevator.

A woman in our building heard me push the alarm button or pound on the door. She called the guardian, who releasedus from the elevator after 15-20 minutes.

2008 has been full of surprises. Looking back over the years, 2008 hasn't been the happiest of years. It's had more than more turbulence than most years.

The biggest one was the death of our daughter Jessica sometime during the 2 days before November 1. Nearly 2 months later, our whole family is in different places in dealing with this event. This has made for a different Christmas than we've ever had.

Ministry-wise there has been lots of movement as well, with the departure of one major ministry colleague. Again, this was a reminder that people come and people go in ministry.

Family-wise, it's been busy, with 3 kids now in 2 different schools. Free time is something that we don't have much of at this stage.

Who knows what 2009 will bring?

Christmas & Boxing Day

It's been a busy and enjoyable time connecting with friends during the last couple of days. Today (Dec. 26, known as "boxing day" in the U.K.). I went to Joe and Jana's annual Christmas cookie party with my younger daughter and our helper Deanna. It was good connecting with Connie, a former ministry colleague in Paris. After returning home, I travelled downtown Paris to see Mark & Judy (former Wheaton classmates from the late 1980s) and their daughter Rebecca and friend

Christmas Day we opened some gifts in the morning, then got ready in the afternoon for guests to start arriving at 5:00 p.m. We're trying to space out the kids' gifts over this week, so they can enjoy each one without feeling pressured to open them and play with them all in one day. We had 6 guests over for supper.

Fatigue keeps me from writing more now. It's time for bed now.

Christmas Eve morning

It's been a busy week so far, with lots of new things.

Sunday night we added Chester to our household for a couple of weeks. He's a cute and well tempered dog that we're watching for a family who is in the U.S. for Christmas. He's quickly made himself part of the family.

Monday we added Deanna, a high school sophomore from New Jersey. She was here last summer with her mom and a school group. We've known her family for several years now. It's interesting to see the contacts and circumstances that lead to some of the helpers that we are privileged to receive. There is no way that I would have made the sort of trip that Deanna has made, especially over the Christmas holidays. But I guess she's part of a younger generation that is much more traveled and world focused than mine was. She wants to study French at university and possibly be a translator for the U.N. someday. I admire her vision and goals. Yesterday (Tuesday) she helped me with grocery shopping in the morning, then helped with our first of three Christmas cookie baking events in the afternoon.

For the cookie event, we ended up with 4 children (all girls) besides our 3 kids. This was a good number for the first one, as it helped us review the whole process of making dough, rolling it out and cutting it into shapes, baking them, decorating them with different colored icing, and then eating or saving them to take home.

One of our desires is to get to know the children, as well as their families. 2 of the girls were classmates of our elder daughter. We already knew their families from birthday parties and other events. The other 2 were sisters, one of whom is in our son's class.

We got to talk some with the mother of the sisters. We learned that their family had their firstborn daughter die very quickly from a brain tumor at age 2 1/2, just before their 2nd daughter (our son's classmate) was born. She told us of a support group for parents who had lost children that she is part of. She also indicated a believer, although we didn't get into a theological discussion. But in thinking about this, I was reminded of the prophet Elijah, when God told him that there were 7,000 others who hadn't bowed to Baal. I wonder if there are other believers like her in our son's school. That would be a great thing and I hope that God allows us to find out.

Today will probably be a calmer day. Tomorrow we're expecting at least 5 guests for Christmas supper, with possibly more.

Chiristmas tree, Chester the dog

I may doze in the middle of this, asi I'm very tired. It was a full and very busy weekend.

Yesterday our primary project was finding, transporting and decorating our family Christmas tree. I had trouble locating our bungy cords, so had to purchase more at the local everything store. After we arrived at IKEA, I discovered that it had sold out all it's trees the previous weekend. So, after we doing our shopping while the kids placed under supervision, we had lunch, bought a few more things, and then becan our excusion to 2 other stores in search of a tree. The garden store near IKEA had also sold out its trees. We made it to the E LeClair and bought one of its ifnal trees. After we got home, we set it up in a stand, then set up the lights and golden guirland. The kids enthusiastically put ornaments on the tree.

This morning we went to church, then ordered our usual takeout roast chicken for lunch. We attended the birthday party of our across the hall neighbor, who turns 3 tomorrow. It was the first time we've spent in this way with our current across the hall neighbors. They will be starting a FrancoArgentinian restaurant in downtown Paris and made an amazing chocolate cake. We also watched the film "Madagascar 2" with them. It was a good time building that relationship.

Tonight Chester the dog was dropped out at our place by some new friends who are going to the U.S. tomorrow for 2 weeeks. So we now are temporary dog sitters. I took him for a brief bathroom break tonight. So our family is larger now.

Early tomorrow I head for the airport to get Deanna, who is currently in the air between Newark and Paris. She'll be with us for 12 days.

Star Academy 8 Finals

Tonight I'm watching the finals of the 8th season of Star Academy. Alice vs. Mickels (pronounced "Michael"). Rumor has it that this may be the final season of Star Ac. This season I've followed the series less than I did in previous seasons.

Right now Christophe Mae is singing "C'est Ma Terre." To our surprise, our friend Julia is singing in the background. She's from church and is a committed Christian. She's actually singing a major solo part as I type. She's an incredible talent who has had success in the secular music world. Yet she's very humble and has often sung backup at church.

Earlier they had a feature on Gregory LaMarchal, the champion of Star Ac 4 and who did off a lung disease he had from childhood. It was sad to see such a talented young man pass away. I still dream of seeing many young French artists like Gregory rise up, but also have strong faith in Christ and glorify Him through their music. Like Julia. Like the ones who did "Noel No Hell."

Like the bards in Celtic culture, the artists have a major influence on culture. How much more we need Christians with artistic gifts who work in the marketplace with their art form, rather than just limit it to entertaining Christian audiences. I remember Amy Grant taking criticism for "going secular" in the 1980s.

Right now on Star Ac, Josh Groban is singing "Silent Night" with the cast. He just sang "Jesus Lord at Thy birth" on the primary French station on one of the biggest shows. They just sang "C'est l'amour infini" ("this is infinite love"). This is not Bible belt country, but secular France.

Home for the holidays

I had my first holiday season in France 20 years ago. I was learning French in Albertville in the French Alps. Back then, it was exceptionel to fly back to the U.S. for Christmas. Nowadays, it's fairly normative. I received my first Christmas cassette (!) that year. Since then, we've replaced it with a CD and listened to it a couple of days ago. One of the songs on it was titled "Home for the Holidays." A couple of the lines I remember were:

Home for the holidays
It wouldn't be Christmas if I were away.
Home for the holidays
It's so nice to be here with those that I hold dear
I'm home for the holidays

I recall walking by myself down the main street of Albertville and feeling sad because I wouldn't be "home" that Christmas. At this time, this meant being with my parents that day. I also associated Christmas with cold, snow, TV specials (Rudolph, Frosty, Bing Crosby) and certain family traditions and foods my mother would prepare then.

That first Advent, feeling the need and desire to give presents, I bought some Albertville 1992 Winter Olympics souvenir plates and gave them to 5 or 6 families who had particularly reached out to me that fall semester at school. It was fun to surprise them.

That first Christmas away, I was invited to Morges, Switzerland (nearly Lausanne) to the home of Claude & Judith, who were regional directors with my organization. I traveled with fellow students Mark & Rae to Switzerland. On the way, we wandered around Geneva and even found John Calvin's tomb. I ended up being a nice Christmas with them, even though it was different than what I had known. I got to cross country ski in the Swiss Alps that break. Our hosts took us to the Chateau de Chinon near Montreux on Lake Leman. This past summer, I got to go back with my family to this chateau.

The next Christmas I took the train down from Paris (my first year there) to Albertville and spent it with the Mayhew family. It was fun to hang out in a familiar town with some of the youth group kids whom I worked with the previous year.

The next 2 Christmases were tropical ones in Abidjan, Côte d'Ivoire in West Africa. It was very interesting to wear warm clothes on Dec. 25. Artificial trees had to be the norm here. As a single, I started my tradition of wanting to celebrate Christmas with families who had young kids. A good part of my fun was seeing Christmas through the eyes of children and their joy about it. For a number of years, I would go to someone's house for Christmas lunch, then go to someone else's for supper.

Christmas 1992 was a Tennessee Christmas (à la Amy Grant) at my parents. It included my first niece and nephew, who were 2 1/2 and 6 months then. Tennessee was their new residence that year, so we didn't have any previous memories of Christmas there. Driving down from Michigan was treacherous and I spun the car in a 360 on the highway. Fortunately, our guardian angels were watching over us and we weren't killed nor the car even damaged.

Back in France in 1993, I spent that Christmas break in Vienna, Austria with some other singles. I spent the day with Andy & Cheryl and their kids.

I flew back to Tennessee for Christmas 1994. That year, I bought my first modem and was one of the early ones to have e-mail.

Since 1995, all but 3 Christmases have been in Paris. These have sometimes included foie gras, champagne, Christmas crackers (British), smoked salmon, Christmas Eve services, etc. As a single and then in our first year of marriage (1997), I/we were adopted into friends' homes.

While in the U.S. for Christmas 1998 and 1999, we would drive from Chicago to South Dakota and Colorado to spend time with both sides of the family. Thus, we would have an early Christmas celebration and later Christmas celebration. We flew back from Paris to Denver in 2004 with 22 month and 3 month old children and did the same thing.

Since 2001, we started a tradition of inviting people over to our home on Christmas Day starting in late afternoon. We sometimes have called this our "waif and stray" meal. This has nothing to do with the quality of the people we invite, as they have all been great people. It rather has to do with their not having their own family around to celebrate with. Having been "waifs and strays" ourselves, we understand how nice it feels to be invited for Christmas.

Now, getting back to the "home for the holidays" theme, I wonder exactly what it means to be "home" for the holidays. What is "home?" For a child raised in a healthy family, "home" should include one's family. However, what happens when one's parents age and/or pass away? As my mother's Alzheimers progressed, this woman who loved and established many of our family Christmas traditions could no longer even remember what they were.

My concept of "family" has been expanded in the course of the past 20 Christmas celebrations. I've enjoyed being adopted by certain families, as well as being able to adopt certain friends in recent years. I believe the concept of "family" is something that can be very attractive to preChristians and new believers, if this is being lived out. The reflections being an intergenerational church of the fellowship we visited recently in Alsace have been helpful in thinking and dreaming of how the generations can mix.

As my 3 living kids grow, they create different memories and add to our traditions. They also are the primary attraction to a number of friends who have and will come for Christmas.

This Christmas, my mother and baby daughter Jessica are in heaven. Each year, some of my older friends are graduating there as well. 1 Peter talks about how we are strangers and aliens in this world. In this way, this world is just our temporary home, while heaven is our eternal one. John 1:14 talks about how Jesus "tabernacled" among us when He came to this world.

But for this Christmas, Paris will continue to be my home. We're starting to invite some people over for that day. We'll also be doing some Christmas cookie decorating parties for our children's friends (and their parents) during the 2 week school break. We hope that our home will be home (at least temporarily) for those who enter it for different events.

Noel No Hell

Today (Saturday) was a day of connecting. We went as a family to the monthly café connections at Genesis, a ministry building of Trinity International Church of Paris. They had some tasty hot cider, clementines, pains au chocolat, croissants, etc. The table was nicely arranged and the atmosphere was warm. There was another family with 2 kids (Joshua & Jessica) there who were less than a year older than our older two. They hit it off nicely and ended up playing together in the basement of the center. My wife got to talk with their mother Tracy. I learned that the interim pastor's wife is from New Jersey and that I knew her sister and nephew. I met a Canadian engineer named John, who with his wife help organize the café connections, as well as a Korean young woman whom I discovered attended law school at the University of Michigan Ann Arbor.

After returning home for a brief nap, we went to the home of David & Wendy. We met them 2 weeks ago and will be watching their dog while they spend the Christmas holidays in Manhattan. Their kids Joshua, Hannah, and Abigail are older than our kids and hit it off well with ours.

Over the years, I've gotten heavily into the "business" aspect of "church." I still believe that churches need to be mission driven in order to not just become country clubs. However, I was reminded today of the importance of having fun together in unrushed and non-ministry driven fashion. Their needs to be some "fun" and relational enjoyment built into the overall program.

I was discouraged after the Christmas program at my daughters' school yesterday, as it seemed completely "pagan" in terms of leaving out Jesus.

However, I was strongly encouraged today to listen to the song "Noël No Hell," then to watch the video of it. It was produced by Pastor Gilles, a talented young French pastor in Paris with artistic gifts and who has been a helpful supporter of our arts ministry. The quality of the lyrics, music, and video are very good. It helps one return to the true meaning of Christmas, something that France desparately needs. Below is the English translation.

Look towards the heavens,
The snow-covered hills.
See how beautiful they are ;
Winter hasn’t changed.
See that star
Guiding the shepherds
When clouds start to roll in
And cover the sky.

These are delightful days
White flakes
Falling from the sky
These are happy days
For children,
So this is Christmas?

Christmas, you’re finally here!
Yes, we’ve been waiting for you!
So long-awaited, yet unexpected
Christmas, you’re finally here!

Brother, they want you for your money
You dream while you sleep,
But you’ll wake up more than shattered!
Forced smiles, Christmas, it’s crazy
A big hoax to rob you blind!
The big fat guy with a white beard dressed in red
Walks the talk,
Who everyday devises
A plan to take everything you got
Til you got nothing left. Oh my word!
Watch out, man, for your kids

It’s never-ending:
They’ve cloned him by the millions anyways
With his plastic beard
And his fake laughter
The con-job of the century,
Man, I tell you, it’s huge!
And this is Christmas! Whatever.

Days for dreaming,
Complete happiness
Life is beautiful.
Days for loving
Those who love us.
So this is Christmas?

Christmas, you’re finally here!
Yes, we’ve been waiting for you!
So long-awaited, yet unexpected
Christmas, you’re finally here!

Too many crowds, too many bags
Too much stuff, it’s such a mess
Too much stress, too many fools
Too many toys, too much of everything!
The “super” supermarkets
Have ignited their lights.
This is Hell, meant to make you pay!
Brother, you gotta buy it all!
So this is Christmas?
It feels more like I’ve been swindled!

Noel, no hell! No more hell! No more hell!
Noel, no hell! No more hell! No more hell!
Noel, no hell! No more hell!

Hell is over, what great news!
Hell is over, spread the good news!

God sleeps on the ground, just like you
He too has no roof over his head
In Excelsis Deo, Gloria
Peace on earth to all men
To women, salam, peace, shalom

Is it the end of plastic guns for our little boys
For our little girls, the end of a life of seduction?

This is the Christmas I love
The baby born in Bethlehem

Christmas, you’re finally here!
Yes, we’ve been waiting for you!
So long-awaited, yet unexpected
Christmas, you’re finally here!

Sickened by reality,
Oh my word! I understand
That the stable in Bethlehem
Is now in our streets, in a way.
I’m a real human
So if you can hear me God,
If you’re ever in the neighborhood
Yes, you that we love to idealize
I’ve got a lot of things to share with you :
In the stable of my heart,
You may always come and rest…

Noel, no hell, no more hell!

School Christmas event

Our kids all returned to school today after our week away in Alsace. Our son hesitated a little about returning to his school this morning, but had a big smile on his face at lunch time and after school. He also commented that he behaved calmly in music class today (as he and 3 others got disciplined 3 weeks ago for not behaving properly in music class).

Tonight was the annual Christmas program at our daughters' school. We arrived late, as we thought it began at 6:30 p.m. instead of 6:00 p.m. But this was fine, as it was close to the same program that was put on 3 years ago.

I was sad about the program, as it was about winter and snowmen and Santa Claus. Because of the secular and pluralistic society that our public school is in, there was no mention about Jesus. This was our 4th Christmas program and I find them boring, although the kids like them (and they are primarily for the kids). I observed our youngest daughter (one of the 4 youngest kids in the school) sitting in the lap of the director during a good part of the program.

However, I did observe that we are definitely part of the community at this preschool/kindergarten. I didn't realize how many of the parents, teachers, helpers, and students (current and alumni) that we know until tonight. My favorite part of the program was the "fellowship" time afterwards. I met the mother and grandmother of a girl who was in our son's class last year and now is in our elder daughter's class this year. They are formerly from Zaire (or whatever the country is currently called).

We started spreading the word about the American cookie events that we will do during the Christmas break. I think that we'll need to do at least 2 (and possibly 3). One of the parents mentioned that today she had thought about the party that she was in last year.

Our daughter got a birthday invitation for January from a classmae whose mother is from Niger Republic (Africa) and father is French.

My wife had a visit with the doctor who has overseen her 4 pregnancies. He mentioned that he was "bouleversé" ("knocked over") when he heard about Jessica's death and that he feels like part of our family. I hadn't been aware of the attachment that he felt toward us. This is another of the connections that we have been blessed with over the years.

Back home in Paris

This morning we left le Rimlishof in Alsace at 8:30 a.m. It was snowing when we left and our kids got to play in it for one last time. For about half the journey, we saw snow on the side of the road. Even though I grew up with snow, I had forgotten how beautiful it can look. In Isaiah, it talks about how our sins, though they be like scarlet, will be white as snow. This was a good reminder of this truth.

We got back at 4:30 p.m., with one short break and one longer lunch break. This was in time for our elder daughter's weekly session with her speech therapist at 5:00 p.m.

Our lives get back to normal schedules tomorrow. I think our week away in Alsace was a good break for all of us. I'm not aware of any major "aha" moments during this time. But the change of scenery was helpful. We also had some memory making experiences that we'll refer back to in the future.

Black Forest Academy

This is probably my last entry from Alsace before we return to Paris tomorrow. It's been a good week here.

We woke up this morning to snow on the ground. It was beautiful. The kids played in the snow before we left for Black Forest Academy, then after we returned. It's the first time they have done so since 2004 when we were in New Jersey. They made a couple of snowmen and threw lots of snowballs.

We drove to BFA in Kandern, Germany. It was the first time our kids have been to Germany and the first time my wife and I were there together. It's just over an hour from where we're staying to there. We arrived at the main building, then our friend Anne took us to the BFA elementary school, then to her apartment. BFA is a potential schooling option for our children, although probably not for elementary school.

Our car is mostly packed for our Paris return, as we hope to leave fairly early. It's been a good mental health break for us here. It's been great to discover another part of France too, as well as get to know Daniel & Anne-Sylvie better.

Christ the Solid Rock

We're in Alsace one more day. Yesterday (Tuesday) I picked up our repaired car. The mechanic changed the muffler/tailpipe, as well as the spark plugs. The effects of their repairs were obvious, as the car was quiet and had much more power. We drove up a mountain until finding some more snow, then had a snowball fight on the side of the road.

I visited the HQ of the ministry "Famille, Je T'Aime" and saw its new director Isabelle M. She and her family were our new door neighbors this August at the family camp we attended. Walt S. came by where we are staying in the afternoon and spent a couple of hours with us. He and his wife Pat are a couple of the most experienced member care people in western Europe and it was our privilege to meet them at the August camp.

We had Swiss fondue for supper with Daniel and Anne-Sylvie.

Our son expressed his sadness about leaving Alsace, saying that he didn't want to go back home. He is definitely a feeler and often expresses what is going on inside him, although we don't always understand. He was the most resistant to coming here at first and now is the most resistant to leave. He reminds me of the prophet Jeremiah in how he expresses his emotions, as his highs are very high and his lows are very low. We probably need to pray already for him a wife with a calm and stable disposition. :-) Seriously though, our friend Mark (Thanksgiving dinner) shared how he prayed for his children (when they were young) and for their future spouses (as well as the families they were growing up in ). So we probably need to follow his example.

Speaking of spouses, I was sad to learn of the tragedy in the life of Dong Yung Yoon. I had never heard of him until reading the CNN article "Man who lost family when jet hit house: 'I don't blame pilot'" I had previously read of a U.S. Marines Corps F/A-18D fighter pilot who had to eject from his plane during a training exercise after unsuccessfully trying to land at a base. Both engines probably went out. The plane crashed in San Diego's University City community and completely destroyed 2 houses. Sadly, Mr. Yoon's wife Young Mi Yoon (36), mother-in-law Suk Im Kim (60), and daughters Grace (15 months) and Rachel (2 months) were in one of the houses and killed in the fire. They had just moved into that house a month ago.

Seeing that Mr. Yoon was Korean and his message of not blaming the pilot, I wondered if he was a follower of Jesus. I clicked on the CNN video. What a power testimony!!! Below is my rough transcript of the interview.

"It's such a horrible thing to happen, especially right here, ... our house. But I believe my wife and 2 babies and mother-in-law, are in heaven with God. And I know God is taking care of them. I heard that the pilot is safe. Please pray for him not to suffer from this accident. I know he is one of our treasures for the country. I don't blame him. I dont' have any hard feelings toward him. He did everything he could. Right now I don't know how I feel. I don't know what to write or think about. But I know that there are many people who have experienced more terrible things. Please tell me how to do it. I don't know what to do. My wife, it was God's blessing that I met her about 4 years ago and we got married. She was such a lovely wife and mother who always loves me and our babies. I have 2 daughters Grace, who was only 5 months old and Rachel, who was born October 17...just over a month. Thank you. God bless you. My mother-in-law just came here to take care of my babies. She just worked hard and loved our kids and didn't complain at all. My father-in-law is coming tomorrow and I don't know what to tell him. I don't know if he will ever forgive me. My mother-in-law was 60 years old and my wife was 36. There are many people who help me: our pastor, many people from the church. The police department and the fire department. Many people tried to call me and I couldn't take all the calls. I would like to thank all the people who support me and my family. Thank you."

After losing our Jessica, I certainly feel great compassion for my brother Dong Yung Yoon, even though we've never yet met. He spoke coherently in front of the cameras, even though he is still in shock over the loss of his family. Honestly, I can only imagine all the pain that he must feel. But I have learned during the last 6 weeks that Christ is the Solid Rock upon whom we can stand, no matter what tragedy happens to us. I'm glad that his church and pastor have been there for him. His pastor Daniel Shin was next to him during the interview.

My thoughts and prayers are with Dong Yung Yoon. I've seen God's peace carry us. May it carry him as well.

Yesterday (Monday) I dropped our car at the mechanics to get the exhaust pipe and muffler replaced. He discovered that one of the spark plugs was broken, which hopefully explains the electrical problems and loss of power. We'll pick up the car sometime today.

As we were grounded, we did a walk up the small mountain right next to the center where we're staying, which is in the Vosges mountains. Our nearly 7 year old was the first one up. He, in particular, loved being outside, rolling in the snow, and just being outside. This is definitely different than what our kids normally live in Paris.

From up top, we had a nice view of the area. After a couple of busy days, it was nice to just be up there by ourselves and enjoy the beauty and quiet.

We may stay through Wednesday and leave early Thursday morning. It would be nice to stay longer, but we've got school to get our kids back to. I've been able to keep up on some communications stuff with the arts ministry from here, so it won't be frantic when we get back to Paris. I even did a small e-mailing yesterday.

Refreshing weekend

It's been a good weekend in Alsace.

Yesterday (Saturday) we had lunch with Randy & Jan. In the early 1990s, we were with the same group in France, but both have moved on greener pastures. It's been good to see their curent world and ministry in this area. They are in a beautiful house, the rent of which is less than our Paris apartment's. We profited from their gift of hospitality yesterday.

This morning we visited their church. It was an interesting service. Last Sunday they conducted surveys of members in different age groups: 0-14, 15-25, 25-40 (or 45), 41 (or 46)-60, 60+. They wanted to know how members of each age group perceived themselves, as well as how they preceived they were being perceived by each other group. The goal is to better develop themselves as an intergenerational congregation.

It brought back to mind some of my Sunday school teachers from my childhood. A number of them were senior citizens, like Adam Thompson, who gave me a silver dollar for memorizing the books of the Bible when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. We have been involved in a church that had the motto "a church for all the nations." From what we've seen, this part of Alsace is by far less miixed ethnically than Paris. But the church does have lots of kids.

One moving part of the service was when a person representing his or her age group washed the feet of a person representing her or her age group. While it wasn't scheduled to be done reciprocally, it ended up that each of the people washed another's feet, then had his/her feet washed.

Yesterday and today we visited Colmar, a beautiful city with a good Christmas markets. We had fun getting hot chocolate, eating tarte flambée and pizza, Today we visited with Daniel & Anne-Sylvie the manger trail in Berkheim. While Colmar was crowded, this village wasn't.

It's definitely been a nice change of scenery so far. Lots of beauty and calm. But now it's time to go to bed, as my eyes keep closing here.

Somewhere over the rainbow...in Alsace

This morning we saw a magnificent rainbow outside the window of the 3rd floor apartment of our friends. Daniel & Anne-Sylvie moved to Alsace in August after 4 or 5 years of being in Paris. They work at the Rimlishof retreat center in Buhl in eastern France.

It's been raining nearly since when we left Paris yesterday morning. But it is beautiful to watch with the mountains in the background. The view reminds me some of that when I was in Albertville in the French Alps 1988-89. But now I have a wife and 3 kids to enjoy it with, plus 19 years more life experience.

Back then, I didn't like being away from a city. I still love cities. But I do appreciate more the calm and beauty of a place like this. I probably would miss the multiculturalness of Paris if I were ever to be out in the country.

Daniel took me to the local mechanic. I certainly noticed a difference between here and Paris. It seemed a lot less rush-rush, although my Speedy mechanic did offer me a coffee a couple of days ago. But we quickly good helped by 2 of the mechanics, as well as the administrator. One of the mechanics took it out for a quick drive to test it out, something that would have been difficult to do in our Paris neighborhood. The administrator ordered a muffler that is scheduled to arrive and be installed Monday morning. Our car sounds like a motor boat right now, so I don't think we'll do a whole lot of traveling around this weekend. But I definitely sensed that I could trust these mechanics to do fair work and not order what wasn't needed nor the most expensively priced part.

The whole family is having a long afternoon nap today, which is probably what they all needed. And I'm getting my share of quiet time.

Putt..putt...sputter...sputter...we arrived in Alsace

Yesterday we arrived in Alsace at our friends' place. We left just after 10:00 a.m. and arrived after 7:00 p.m. It rained during the whole trip, which made for cooler temperatures (good), but lesser visibility (not so good). Our car had some problems. Something electrical was wrong, as it kept stalling while in gear, which made for a stressful drive. It's never done that before, so I'll need to go to a mecanics today and get it checked out. I noticed that the tailpipe was about to fall off as well. The mecanic on Wednesday said that it needed to be repaired, but I didn't realize that it was so urgent.

Our friend Daniel will take me to his local mechanic, as there aren't Speedy dealers in this village. Hopefully it's not complicated nor expensive to resolve these problems, as we spent a lot of tires earlier this week. Oh well, as my father says, "It's only money."

We arrived very tired, but happy to be here. It was nighttime in Alsace when we arrived, so we haven't yet seen it by daylight.

Our youngest (nearly 3) was up in the middle of the night (around 3:00 a.m.), which got me up to get some apple juice out of the car. She has the hardest time when we travel longer distances. I wonder how she's processing the whole departure of Jessica?

One book I read parts of this morning is Maureen Rank's "Free To Grieve: Healing and Encouragement for Those Who Have Suffered Miscarriage and Stillbirth" (Bethany House, Minneapolis, 1985).

In her chapter "Another Pregnancy?", she raises the questions, "Have you asked God for His drection about trying again?" and "Have you waited for His answer?"

With all 4 of our pregnancies, especially numbers 3 and 4, we really felt God saying it was time to try to have a baby. I guess this is why it's still puzzling about why Jessica made it all the way to the end before going to heaven just before she was to enter life outside the womb. We'll probably come back to this question from time to time. I doubt we'll ever know definitely in this world, although we might have some ideas. For whatever reason, her mission on this earth was accomplished during her 9 months in the womb. I miss her, but am at peace knowing that she is at peace now and that I'll see her again.

I have observed how experiences like ours help some people to grow stronger, while destroying others. Some people get into destructive behavioral patterns and addictions to dull the pain and emptiness. Some marriages and families are destroyed when extreme difficulties come. I feel strongly that for Christians, these events should help us to grow stronger. Yes, there are times of sadness and grief that need to be embraced, rather than covered up or dulled by alcohol, cigarettes, etc. If we really believe that God is all powerful and good, then we need to trust Him during the good days and the difficult days. The joy of the Lord needs to be our strength, particularly on the difficult days (like when the car doesn't work).

In the chapter "Free to Grieve," Maureen Rank cites a friend named Myrl, who gives the following 4 suggestions about finding peace in the midst of difficulty
1. Grieve, but don't waste your grief
--Feel your grief, but don't let it harden into bitterness and cynicism. If you do, you'll have squandered what could have been an invaluable resource for good in your life.
2. Share the fullness of your hurt with God.
3. Let God supply the answers you need.
4. Don't live to be happy. Live for God, and happiness with follow.

Getting ready for tomorrow's trip to Alsace

Today we are scrambling around getting ready for a trip to Alsace in eastern France. We'll be staying with Daniel and Anne-Sylvie, who recently moved there after around 5 years in Paris. They are involved in a retreat center there.

This morning I had the car serviced at our local Speedy dealer, where I've gone for nearly 8 years. About once a year, we get hit with an expensive repair. Today it was the tires. Paris is tough on tires. After 5 and 6 years respectively on our front and back tires, it was time for a change. As it may snow when we're in Alsace, I really don't want to take a risk with bad tires. So we bit the bullet and have 4 new Michelins.

While waiting for the repairs, I've been working on publicity for the art center. I was happy to finish posting info on all our December events on our web site. We got a phone call from the family whose dog we are going to watch over Christmas break and set up a dinner date with them for the Saturday after we return from Alsace. Like us, they have a son and 2 daughters, although they are all a couple of years older than ours.

I ran into one of our neighbors in the lobby who asked about the baby, so I had to tell her, as she is someone who really wants to know. It's kind of delicate doing this, as we can't just announce this in passing to someone. One book I read yesterday said that when someone asks how we're doing, we need to discern if they really want to know or are just being polite. For the polite ones, it's ok to say, "We're doing ok" or something similar. But if someone really wants to know, then we can give more details. This was a helpful hint.

I'm not sure what all that this trip will hold for us as a family. But it is something that even the kids are getting excited about now. It's fun to see them enjoy events and talk about them later. My book of yesterday said that it is sometimes good to take a trip a little bit after the tragic event. I think that we'll enjoy it more now than we would have right after the memorial service.

I need to take my son to a dental appointment in a couple of hours and my wife will take our elder daughter to dance class. Then it will be the mad scramble of packing bags, then packing the car. Hopefully it's not too late a night tonight and we get a fairly early start tomorrow morning.

This may be my last blog for a week, depending if we have access to the Internet at our friends.

Help from the land down under

Yesterday (Monday) we got to meet Emily, an Australian university student who will be staying with us from January through mid-February and helping our family, as well as a couple of ministries in Paris. She's currently on holiday in Paris this week with her friend Jill. Our colleagues in Australia helped recruit her for us. We'll look forward to expanding our cultural knowledge and experience.

My wife had an emergency visit to the hospital today, as she was bleeding more heavily. Fortunately, everything seemed to fine during the ultrasound and my wife came back home afterwards.

Then I was involved at some leadership team discussion about the arts ministry. Jim, the founder of it, is back in town this week. It was good to catch up a little and think about some of the bigger issues. It is encouraging that things have gone very well during this transition autumn. Advances are happening. I'm thankful for some quality colleagues who have taken the ball and run with it. 2009 should be an exciting year. In that way, I'm blessed to be part of something that is growing, rather than falling apart or shrinking.