Big families

It's nearly 3:00 a.m. and I'm still working on stuff. It's nice to have everyone sleeping, as it's easier to think and get things done. As I work out of home a lot, it's hard to be creative thinking when everyone is around. Fortunately, it was a productive day.

As I'm doing some busy work, I'm watching a documentary on large families in France on the film "C'est Quoi l'Amour" ("What is love?") It's nice to see some of the family life here and see that some of the past and current family "dramas" in our home are also happening in the lives of these families with 5 to 8 kids. One psychologist just said that having a large family is like running an enterprise. One comment that all the mothers made is that they need to run their homes in an orderly, almost military-like way.

I received an e-mail of the birth of Anna to friends Luc and Karen. We've known Karen since 1996 and rejoiced with her marriage to Luc 1 1/2 years ago. Karen and I lead a small group at another church in 1996. She looked radiant at her wedding and now she's a mom. Luc is a conscientious man who will be a great father. I'm glad to be able to rejoice with them, rather than feeling sad or jealous of them.

Other necessities for having large families are giving up on perfectionism and helping divide up the family tasks among all the children.

We have a number of contacts in our neighborhood who just have 1 child. After having seen how some of them act, I would have some concern if one of my kids married someone from an only child situation. I love seeing my kids relate (at least most of the time, when they aren't in a dispute). They are learning how to relate to other in the world as they relate together.

Another point is that it's good for parents to show that they aren't perfect and that it's ok to not be perfect. I have a harder time with this pertinent point.

Another point is that one of the father's roles is to be a separator between the mother and the children. Interesting.

Another point is that it is a particular "calling" or chosen style of life to have a large family, as it involves certain sacrifices. For children, it teaches fraternity and community. But having a large family doesn't always mean being together. In fact, it's important for kids to have some alone time, by themselves, as well as with the mom or dad.

There is always laundry to do and life often involves early mornings and late nights.