Influence

Yesterday I had some reading time on the subway and bus traveling to a morning ministry meeting, as well as waiting for an hour during an appointment of my son. I love the reading times like these that are regularly available in Paris in the midst of normal life events that are necessary and seemingly mundane.

I'm back at Erwin McManus' wonderful book "Chasing Daylight: Seize the Power of Every Moment." I loved his chapter titled "influence." It was a good reminder that so much about living in a way that my life has long-term impact on events and people is about how I influence (or don't influence) those around me.

Here are some excerpts from the section "influence goes deep" (pp. 124-126) of his book:

Influence can do what command can never do; it can win the hearts of people. You can pay people to do a job, but you can't pay them to change their minds or, more accurately, to change their hearts. External power has the limitation of bringing external change. Influence is the material of internal power. Again, influence is not about position or delegated authority or endless forms of power. Influence is born out of a person, who that person is, and translates to how it affects the heart of another person. Real influence goes deep. It changes how a person feels about something. It has direct impact not only on how a person acts, but also on what he believes and what he is committed to.

We understand the difference between authority and influence when we watch our children grow up. What your children act like when they're under your authority is different from who they become as a result of your influence...Great parenting is all about influence. It is more about shaping values than it is about setting boundaries.

As a parent...the love and respect my children have for me are far more powerful than any rules or potential punishment...There's no more rewarding experience than when my children are motivated by their own value systems to do what is right. It is without question that value systems are transferred through a connection of the heart. Even though my kids have grown up in church, their love for truth is not the result of exhaustive research. Their desire to do good is not the result of logical deduction. And one thing I am eternally grateful for is that we pass on not just who we are, but who we genuinely desire to become. Our children see our flaws, our faults, and yes, even our sins. The compensating grace is that they are also able, when we in humility repent and confess our shortcomings, to see what we aspire to be. Our influence is not limited to our present condition. It is expanded by our intended destination when we are committed to the journey. Influence is rooted in charcter--who we are and who we are becoming. Influence transfers best and moves most quickly whenever respect and trust are present. When the environment is right, influence goes deep. It goes to the very core of who we are.

The most important influences in people's lives are the ones who have helped shape who they are. You really can know a person by his friends. Trustworthy people are surrounded by people who trust them. And women and men who are genuinely Christlike are surrounded by those who long to be more like Christ. Character breeds influence. Influence shapes character. The relationship between character and influence is like breathing--the deeper you inhale, the stronger you can exhale. Take your character deep and your influence will be profound.