Today was my wife's birthday. While she and my son were at a meeting this morning, I and my daughters mixed and cooked a lemon box cake for her. The cake turned out well and my wife was pleasantly surprised that we made it. It was cute to see the kids really get excited about her birthday.
While we made the cake, my wife had to get an icing recipe for it, as that went beyond my expertise. She ended up calling her mom for the recipe. She and the kids made the icing. I guess that this is what life as a mother of young kids entails. Hopefully by next year, we'll be able to do the whole cake without my wife's help.
One thing my mom taught me was how to follow cooking directions and use the mixer. Even though it had been years since I'd done a box cake, I had no hesitation about doing so, thanks to my early training.
While I don't miss my mom much, some experiences or songs trigger instant memories of her. The cake baking did such a thing. Suddenly I felt sad about not having her around. She used to bake different Christmas cookies and desserts each year. In recent years, she hadn't done so, which was sad.
This grieving process isn't as easy as I thought it would be. For me, it's not constant grief about my mom passing. Much of the time, I still feel relieved about it. But it's still a void. It's good to have to deal with this process, as I had no idea what it was like, nor what others grieving might have felt like. Now I can be more sensitive and empathetic to them.
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